In part 3 of “Interview with Myself”, I delve in to family, relationships and love. I found myself getting carried away answering some of the questions, so you may find yourself with a lot of reading in some sections. I hope this will also be a good read. After this, there will only be one more part remaining. Enjoy.
1. What does the word “family” mean to you?
• Family is God’s gift to us in the form of parents, siblings, children, friends, great colleagues and/ or pets. To me, family is not just about flesh and blood. To me, family is those individuals who CHOOSE to be in your life because they love something about you, they love and care for you and want to be there for you no matter what, especially to make you smile and be the reason that you smile and are happy.
2. In what ways have your parents influenced you the most?
• My parents have always influenced me to work hard for what I want; to be the best that I can be; to never forget: who I am, where I come from, my Creator and to always be thankful for what I have. These are life lessons worth living.
3. Do you wish you had been raised differently? How so?
• No, I don’t. I think I turned out okay. Even though there were moments when I thought I knew what was best for me and wanted my parents to be different and set different rules for us/ me, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Well, I’d minus the few times that I was given a smacking for misbehaviour. That was never fun.
4. What is your relationship with your parents like today?
• My relationship with my parents today is better than it was in the past. With my brother Sam being my mother’s last born child, he was a mommy’s boy, so I always believed that my mom loved my brother and didn’t care about me. And my father gaining a son meant different rules for him and I, which always got me upset. I was never a fan of unfair treatment. Then we had a lot of family drama which made me detach myself from my parents, especially my father, because I was too angry. All of that is now water under the bridge and I have good relationship with my parents and I wouldn’t replace them for anything.
5. What role do you play in your family?
• I am the realist, the planner, the stressor, the comforter and the occasional negotiator.
6. Do you have siblings? How many, are they older or younger, and what are their sexes?
• I have an older sister Zoe, and 2 younger brothers, Sam and Spha.
7. How are your relationships with your siblings?
• I have a close relationship with Sam and Zoe, and Sam and I have a tighter bond probably because we grew up together.
8. Would you change anything about your relationships with them?
• Not a thing. I just wish that Zoe lived closer to me so that we could spend more time together.
9. Who are you closest to in your family?
• That would have to be Sam.
10. Who do you admire most in your family and why?
• Between my mother and Sam – I can’t pick one. My mother has shown me strength, endurance, humility and patience. And from my brother, I have admired true dedication, determination and talent beyond measure. Both of them have displayed admirable attributes which I always wish to possess.
11. Have you lost any family members to death?
• Yes, I have.
12. If so, what was your relationship to them and how did their death affect you?
• My very young cousin Nokwanda, my uncle Muzi, and my grandparents. Nokwanda was a bright young girl who left us too soon. She was like my little sister and I felt very helpless when she died. I even wished that we could switch places, just so that she could have a chance to grow up and for her parents to have a chance to be happy and proud of her. Even though I was young when my uncle Muzi died, it left a hole in my heart because him, Sam and I had a special greeting, “Wola Mpintj (Howzit dude)”, and I was always looking forward to seeing him. The loss of my grandparents had a delayed effect on me. They also died when I was very young. My grandma died first and I remember telling my grandpa and my mom that I missed my grandma. My mother told me that grandma would be back (I’m guessing in the Christian context). Sadly, I waited. I still miss my grandparents because I feel that they have missed out on a lot and I would’ve loved for them to witness a lot of these events and I know that we would have been even closer than when I was still a child.
• I don’t have any pets at the moment. If it wasn’t for the fact that I lived in a non-pet friendly apartment, I’d probably have two dogs. But I’m planning on getting myself a pet rabbit soon. It’ll be very new for me but I’ve done my research and I believe that I’m ready. I’m also looking forward to it.
14. Who was your first love?
• My current love Itumeleng, is actually my first love. The one or two times when I thought I was in love when I was younger, it definitely wasn’t love. I think I was just blinded by naivety.
15. Have you had your heart broken?
• Yes, I have.
16. Have you broken any hearts?
• I don’t believe I have.
17. Describe your first date.
• Itumeleng called me one evening when I was at a friend’s place toask if I liked Indian cuisine. I replied, yes. He then asked if we could go out for dinner that week, to an Indian restaurant in Pretoria. I was excited. The evening of the date came and we drove out to the lovely Indian cuisine restaurant all the way in Pretoria East after work that night. Me being me, I offered to help with the bill and he refused. He chose to handle it and of course I thought, “What a gentleman.” We had a beautiful night and I remember not wanting the evening to end.
18. How did you and your spouse first meet?
• I had an ankle injury and he gave me a lift to my flat because I was limping in my aircast from the gate and it was about to rain. We lived in the same estate but in different complexes within the estate.
19. How did he propose?
• We were out river rafting with friends. We reached an area where the water was still, he got in the water and proposed. Please bear in mind that he doesn’t know how to swim. So while he was trying to propose. I was panicking and screaming at him to get back into the boat. I eventually heard, let it sink in and I said yes.
20. Describe your wedding/honeymoon.
• We are currently planning our wedding. Considered going in front of the reverend or magistrate and just signing – less hassle, cheaper and gets the job done. But Itu would like to give me and the both of us a big day to remember. Also planning a honeymoon of course.
21. Do you believe in love at first sight?
• In movies, yes, I do.
22. Who was your biggest crush?
• First there was Morris Chestnut, and then there was Channing Tatum and Michael Ealy. Oooooooo…
23. Do you have any regrets regarding your love life?
• I wouldn’t say that I have regrets but I would have loved to approach certain things differently.
24. What was the most special way you’ve shown someone that you loved them?
• Itumeleng’s surprise 30th birthday celebration! I planned everything to the T and I thought that was special and a big gesture. I even invited his mother. I enjoyed every bit of the planning.
25. What was the most special way you’ve been shown you’re loved?
• Itumeleng bought matching promise rings for us and had them engraved with our names. The rings are really special and I didn’t even want a different ring for my engagement ring. I was happy just wearing my special ring.