So, my last post was about people who have come into my life, about those who have been around for the longest time, and some who have drifted away. I focused on people who have meant the world to me since the beginning of my existence. This list was incomplete. A lot of people have meant a lot to me. Also, I realised that I mainly focused on my girls. Having grown up as a tom boy, rarely ever getting to go and visit her female friends, I usually found myself stuck with my brother’s friends and other male relatives or friends. I also developed great relationships with some really awesome dudes. Friendships that meant the world to me. Sadly, I’ve lost touch with a lot of these guys. But they were my rock and reason to be happy with life at some point, and they also deserve a mention.
Ntokozo Sibiya – Or Wowozo, as my brother used to call him when he was much younger because he couldn’t say Ntokozo’s name. Ntokozo, a good childhood friend. Our friendship developed through our parents being very good friends. If ever my parents were away, we’d be at Ntokozo’s house. If we we wanted to visit a friend after school, it would be Ntokozo. My brother Sam, Ntokozo and I were the three musketeers. I don’t think that there was ever a week that could go by without us getting into any kind of trouble. We were constantly shouted at for laying probably a 30cm ruler away from the TV when watching, we were always threatened that if we didn’t finish our food, we’d be flushed down the toilet (a very scary thought back then, especially when you believed it was possible), and lots more funny stories. I remember Ntokozo’s mom once sending us to the store to buy bread and I don’t know what else. Veli, Ntokozo’s sister, was present that day. And what did we decide to do? We decided we’d all go to the store using ONE BICYCLE. Veli was the “designated driver”, Ntokozo sat behind Veli, Sam sat on the handle bars and I was on the top tube. Off we went, giggles and all. The trip to the store wasn’t completed on the bike because tiny steep hills happen. But the trip back home was exhilarating. Little us felt like daredevils who could do just about anything. Unfortunately, the Sibiyas relocated to Johannesburg, South Africa and we were one friend down. When I moved to this city of gold, we reconnected for a while. Life was fun when it was the three of us, with the bestest first friend that anyone could ask for.
Barry Hughes – I think my tom-boyishness and love for PC games caused this friendship to flourish. When my family moved to Big Bend, we lived in a very remote area known as the Big Bend Sugar Estate. It was a lovely place, but we didn’t have any friends that lived nearby. I was very convinced that my father had picked that location on purpose, to keep us away from anyone and anything. At least my brother and I had one another. Then, about 2 years later, the Hughes’ moved to BBSE and we finally had a friend close by. With my father constantly forgetting to pick us up from school, Mr and Mrs Hughes were kind enough to let us travel with them to school and back home on most days. Barry was my classmate and he became a very good friend. For a moment, some people just didn’t understand this friendship, and they had to try and make it out to be more than it was. Barry also got on well with my brother, so once again, we had a new buddy. We spent many afternoons together at our place playing computer games, or we’d be at his place. One of the things that meant a lot to me was waking up on my birthday to a cold, wet and gloomy morning. We were on school holiday I believe. That was a time when we didn’t even have TV at home because my dad decided to cancel our DSTV subscription, which meant no TV. Barry came to fetch my brother and I. We watched the Lion King at his place, one of my all time favourites; with a cup of hot chocolate and some few munchable treats. I was in heaven. Even though Barry wasn’t aware it was my birthday that day, he did a great thing and made my day. Now, who says God doesn’t send down angels in the form of great friends?
Tinotenda Kavumbura – Another friendship developed from the love of computer games. My primary school boyfriend whom I barely spoke to or even said hello to. After this little phase, we became good friends. We shared music, movies and PC games. I was happy. Tino was the reason I know Blink 182 and Evanescence, the reason my father got to know Eminem and he was my go to person when I wanted to sing along to the likes of Aqua, Backstreet Boys and Vengaboys. Sigh…Those were the days. The other thing about Tino was that he knew how to read me pretty well. I could be feeling really low and he would ask how I was doing. Even though I’d cover up my true thoughts and feelings with, “Nothing’s wrong, I’m okay,” he always knew if I wasn’t okay, better than anyone I knew. And he was always there to give me a movie or music that could help me feel better. I know the one thing I bothered Tino with frequently was his Shrek video tape. I fell in love with Shrek after being introduced to it by him. My mom even got tired of the green monster, or so she says. There was a time in high school when this friendship turned sour. But the air was cleared up eventually and we were buddies again. As always, Tino also became good friends with Sam. At times he’d even come over just to talk music with my brother or to have jam sessions – Tino on his guitar, Sam on the drums, and on one or two occasions, I joined in with the keyboard. The best was doing our performance of Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated” at one of our high school events. Fun times I tell you.
Benele Mabaso – Maburns! A friendship that came about after I ranted, “I hate you, I hate you,” over and over to the poor guy. Don’t ask. Even I barely remember that, and I’m glad I don’t. Benele was a very gentle soul. He was the guy that i had never seen upset for many of our years together, until much later on in our high school years. Benele and I didn’t do the visiting each other thing, so our relationship mainly flourished while we were at school, in high school to be accurate. He would share all of his stories which he couldn’t share with his boys. We’d chat about whatever. We even had code names for some of his crushes, so that when we’d talk about them, no-one would know who we were talking about. Benele was the one that topped my 16th birthday with an entire bag of my favourite goodies. I’ve never been the expensive chocolates or chocolates with nuts kinda girl. And Benele gave me a whole bag of Kit Kats, Texes, and all my favourite goodies. What a gem. He never forgot my birthday. He was like the little angel sent to remind me that I existed for a reason. Always had positive words to share when I was having my ultimate lows. One of the few treasured people in my life that I really prayed for and asked God to take good care of. Varsities in different provinces pulled us apart, but distance had nothing on the good times shared.
Ndumiso Dlamini – A summarised timeline of the development of this friendship: My first primary school “boyfriend” whom I never dared to speak to. I don’t know why we even did that. This moved on to a lot of teasing and Ndumiso making fun of me. There was never any tears so that was okay. Then, one day, we just became good friends. No computer games were exchanged, but there were many jokes, lots of music and stories shared between us. We could be having a conversation and he would fend off other females saying no girls allowed, which would baffle some people because hello, I am a female too. But, I blended in just fine with the guys as I was always one of the guys when growing up. I remember Ndumiso trying to introduce me to some soul music because my life was cramped with “typical white music”. It never really worked, but he almost won me over with Musiq Soulchild, whom I enjoy listening to now. Being in different classes meant rushing to him during break time to share funny stories from class or home. With Ndumiso around, I was always guaranteed to walk away laughing. This was a very happy and healthy relationship.
I’m telling you now, if you’ve ever had any friends or relationships as good as this, hold on to them and don’t let go. People and relationships like this are to be treasured for life as they can be very rare to find.